“Let’s be honest mama’s. I never thought mine would heal “pretty”. I thought it’d be ugly and that I’d never be able to wear a bikini again. I feared it’d be noticeable and sore.
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After my experience with loosing Aaron Asher I really really loathed it. I want to have a vaginal delivery. I planned on having one as I did with my first two children.
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But it didn’t go that way. I actually had an emergency csection at #26weekspregnant . Afterwards, It hurt to sit, it hurt to stand, it hurt to bend. I had to get staples and stitches.
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When I originally shared my story (see last pictures) some moms actually were mean and body shamed by scar. They called it ugly, said it was botched, I was too skinny, and more. Very cruel things(don’t worry I sent a few of them personal DMs sharing WHY IT WAS SO UGLY) And how my child’s life was on the line. They didn’t even read what happened or why I had to get both prior to making their ugly comments online.
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Then something within me grew. A POWER! I began loving my scar because through it my angel baby had life. And through is our rainbow baby was born. I didn’t care about hiding it I wanted it to be seen. It became so beautiful to me.
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When Hayah came my experience was so much different, I went in knowing I’d have a csection and I was happy because my doctor was able to be there this time. It wouldn’t be an emergency and let me tell you it was one of our best birth experiences. My husband got to be with me, during the emergency it was abrupt so he wasn’t able to.
With Hayah it also went quickly and I was up walking around the NEXT DAY.
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I learned to love my body and my decisions, I know that c section death rates were high I knew that ppl said it was a “cop out” but I prayed and proceeded. I felt like the research I did and the conversations that I had with and without my doctors prepared me. And I am a success story.
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No matter how you choose to have you baby: adoption, vaginally, csection, natural, medicinal.. make sure you know and are aware and comfortable. Never let anyone shame you.
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Whether you’re small, large, medium, don’t be body shamed you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your body is magical.”
Instagram: @tanishasnell_
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