“Why does no one talk about the awful parts of pregnancy?
No, I dont mean the boob sweat and peeing when you sneeze. I mean prenatal depression and the mental breakdowns.
No one talks about prenatal depression or the mental breakdowns youll have during your many sleepless nights. And trust me, the pregnancy insomnia does nothing to help your urge to bawl it out at 4am. I actually had to google things to figure out that prenatal depression is in fact a real thing and what I’m feeling is normal. Thank god I’ve talked to people that have had the same feelings as I do, its really lessened the guilt of these feelings but has made me feel no less alone. Thats just it, you can be surrounded by tons of wonderful people who offer support but no one truly knows what youre feeling but you. To be completely honest and raw for a moment, i dont enjoy being pregnant, im totally in awe of the women who think the whole miracle of child birth thing is what pregnancy is. I have had such a different experience, not that ive had some difficult pregnancy or anything, because frankly I havent. I have been blessed with the ability to get pregnant and have no complications, which probably adds to my guilt about not loving being pregnant and having such a difficult time. As many of you know, I am definitely not one of those “pregnancy glow” types who just bask in the wonderfulness of their pregnancy, maybe it’s just my hormones or maybe it’s my predisposition to depression but as I near the end of my pregnancy I can’t help but feel frustrated and lost, for many reasons. I feel as if I’ve lost myself, my identity, and my body, I feel as though I don’t even know the person occupying my skin anymore. Im increasingly more and more frustrated with my body because how can I possibly get any bigger, I am constantly uncomfortable and unable to sleep at night, granted I take so many naps during the day, I am unable to do certain things anymore and I just feel utterly defeated. I am simply overwhelmed. I have so much about anxiety abouy the future and this person I am supposed to become, a mom, there is so much pressure on mothers to do everything and do it right, how do you keep up. ”