”I’ve decided to share what’s going on in my head on my feed where other mama’s who are going through what I am can come to and read through!⠀
I’m so torn between a VBAC which I was SOOOO set on having since finding out I was pregnant. That’s why I decided to go with a midwife this time around, in hopes to have the support I need to go ahead with the vbac and feel amazing about it.⠀
But after the last few weeks watching birthing videos, reading stories etc. It has me freaking terrified. Like, I know our bodies are meant to do this BUT the thought of a head squishing through my vajayjay just makes me so freaking scared. The thought of going through labor again and all the pain and emotions that come with it, to have it end in a c section again freaking terrifies me.⠀
But not being able to still be the mom I am to Presley while recovering from a c section also scares the living daylights out of me and is my major push for a vaginal delivery….⠀
Basically I’m just so confused and can use any words of encouragement or to hear your birthing stories to help me feel like I can or can’t do this! Ahhh!⠀
So please share them below for other mama’s who are feeling how I am can come back to and read!”
Hello dear momma,
I am writing whilst I rock my new 1 month old to sleep, for what seems to be the 100th time tonight while my toddler sleeps in the room next to ours.
I stumbled across your post and it spoke volumes to me.
I ended up with a c-section with my first baby girl after being induced for ‘babies size.’ I didn’t know what I was doing, I was scared, unprepared and wanted to trust my OB. After 2.5 hours pushing she called it. I remember crying and praying. God has since healed my heart and we have walked through some tough things. But I knew in my heart I wanted to do it differently the second time given the chance.
For the same reasons exactly you mentioned. I wanted to be mommy to my toddler still, not recovering from surgery. To tell her I couldn’t pick her up, dress her, snuggle, the thought nearly broke me, but also forced me to educate myself and prepare myself for a vaginal birth.
I met with the midwives. They were amazing, spoke over me with encouragement and gave me what I needed to be brave for my little girl. My hubby was super supportive. I also hired a doula this time. Honestly she is what made me and my hubby be able to labor through the pain together. She was so supportive and prayed with me, guided me and gave me courage.
Our baby girl arrived in a fury and I pushed for 40 min maybe. I remember touching her head, feeling her hair, that rush of adrenaline as I pushed her out! Her first cries were in my arms, not the Dr.’s while I was under anesthesia. I got to nurse her right away.
Oh momma if this gives you any encouragement I hope this does. You are capable of trying and brave for wanting to! I also had a peace that if it ended in a c-section again that God was with me. That I gave my baby the right tools to get going. Bravery, courage and a fighting spirit for what we believe is best. Praying for you!