“How’s yalls week going so far? Like… how is it really going? Have you been able to make the best of our new normal (huge props to you! 🙌🏻), or do you feel a little stuck in a rut?
I’ll be honest, I’m definitely the latter of the two. This morning I spent at my obgyn’s office and then got sent to the neonatologist’s for the afternoon. Family is no longer allowed to any of the offices in the hospital, and you have to wear a face mask at all times, hence my not so cute selfie in the monitoring room… I’ve struggled with anxiety a lot this pregnancy, which is new for me and has given me such empathy for people that deal with anxiety as a daily part of their lives. I’ve had highs and lows, but lately I’ve been feeling pretty unsteady as the #twins birth gets closer. .
The idea of twins has been something that overwhelmed me since pretty much day 1. I worry so much if Ill be able to care for them, if I’ll be able to care for my other children, if I’ll be able to care for my husband and myself. With our family being far away and social distancing in place, sometimes I feel like my fears are coming true. That it will just be me, two newborn twins, and a 3 and 5 year old, and I won’t be able to handle it like a “good mother” should….whatever that means. .
I’ve been trying to look at things practically (with everything going on in the world) and think of all the people on the front lines sacrificing their health and safety, living in hotels or tents away from their families and newborns, and people who are sick or have family members that are sick. I remind myself I am blessed beyond belief in so many ways. But for today, maybe just today, I’m going to give myself permission to feel what I feel without judgement…a little sad, a lot anxious, uncertain what the future looks like. And I think that’s ok. I hope you’ll give yourself the grace to do the same if you’re feeling a little less than perfect too. Lots of love friends. ”