C-Section Guilt

“In honor of C-Section Awareness Month.
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I’d be lying if I told you that I even anticipated the remote possibility of a c-section in my birth plan. For one, I am a healthy, athletic women in my early 30’s, and had a pretty smooth & complication free pregnancy. I focused solely on giving a vaginal birth, and worse didn’t really consider a c-section a possibility. Sure, when talking about emergency scenarios I understood that it could come to opening me up. But in all honesty my mind had already decided having a vaginal birth.
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Now 2 months postpartum, I am still surrounded by a feeling of guilt. Did I give up too soon and ask for an epidural? Should I have opted for anything but pitocin? My cervix was not dilating and every time they started the pitocin and gradually increased the dosage, baby’s heartrate would drop. This happened 3 more times before my doctor said we need to take you in for an emergency c-section. I feared this moment so much. I felt defeated and sobbed while they were shooting in more local anesthesia and adrenaline which made me shake uncontrollably. It was such a frightening and traumatic moment in my labor, and I was not prepared to say the least.
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The moment I heard my son behind the surgical screen, my heart melted. I knew that there couldn’t be anything in this world that I could not endure to have him here in my arms. There is such a negative stigma around c-section mothers when there shouldn’t be. All birth is equally birth and should be applauded all the same. We brought precious beautiful life into this world and in the end that is all that truly matters.
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I now see my scar as a beautiful reminder of the best gift my body gave me, my sweet baby boy. ❤️”

Instagram: thebohobirdie

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