A Letter To My Pregnant Friend

“Dear pregnant friend,⠀⠀
As you know I’m struggling with infertility. ⠀⠀
This can make for an uncomfortable topic but these things need to be said in order to preserve our relationship. I want you to know i am truly happy for you, but I’m hurting for me. You see it’s hard to not let my sadness and envy take over. A time surrounded by pregnant people while walking through the trenches of infertility is anguishing.⠀⠀
It’s just almost unbelievable to me that people actually get pregnant without assistance. I mean i don’t think people actually know how much has to go right in order for a baby to be created. ⠀⠀
Every baby is truly a miracle.⠀⠀
And your baby is just that. And deserves to be celebrated. But I don’t always know how to talk about it when I’m in so much pain over my own situation. And I know you don’t really know how to talk to me either. I know you don’t want to hurt me or inflict more pain or say the wrong thing, but truth is I don’t even know what will hurt and what won’t. So let’s both leave room for grace as we navigate this together.⠀⠀
The timing of it all makes it even more difficult. I start to think had things gone differently we would have had a “Me too!” moment at the timing of your good news could so easily have meant that we would be pregnant together.⠀⠀
So your announcement was a reminder of what could have been. I just need you to know that from time to time I may be distant and appear to be upset, but it’s not at you.⠀⠀
I refuse, to let my infertility steal my joy or yours. So just please be patient with me during this time.  ⠀⠀
Now that that is said, I can prepare to be the world’s greatest Auntie!⠀⠀
With love, your infertile friend.”

Instagram: @onehopefulmama

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