Breastfeeding Almost Broke Me

Breastfeeding Almost Broke Me

“I chose to stop breastfeeding because I couldn’t handle it anymore, and that’s okay.⁣

I didn’t produce enough milk with my first baby, so I was so excited when I had more than enough for my second. But after one month of exclusively breastfeeding her, we started to also give her formula. ⁣

I had a toddler running around, I couldn’t be glued down by a baby or pump hanging off of me all day. I was healing from a c-section. I wasn’t sleeping. My anxiety was sky high. And I was just drained mentally and physically. But yet I felt too guilty to completely stop breastfeeding. ⁣

I also had ppd, which led me to an involuntary hospital stay when my daughter was 4 months old. And guess what I did after I got out of the hospital. ⁣

I STILL TRIED TO BREASTFEED 🤯 ⁣

I continued for 3 more months after that, all because I was clinging to⁣
“breast is best.”⁣

I let previous comments from family + strangers cloud my judgement on what was best for BOTH of us. I ignored doctors recommendations to stop the feedings. I ignored my husband. I ignored the little voice in the back of my head. And I was so unhappy because of it. ⁣

I started to dread each feeding, so when my daughter was 7 months old, we fully transitioned to formula. Finally the world seemed a little less heavy. I wasn’t so stressed. I slept more. I had more me time. I didn’t feel ‘touched out’ anymore. I felt more present for my toddler. I felt human again. I felt like me. ⁣

And a lightbulb went off and I realized this was completely okay. Formula exists for a reason. ⁣

I chose to stop breastfeeding because it’s what was best for me and my baby, and I don’t feel guilty anymore. You shouldn’t either.”

Instagram: @motherhoodinanutshell

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