“Let me make myself perfectly clear: we did not pay thousands of dollars for our baby. We paid thousands of dollars for a CHANCE.
I think today’s topic was sparked from the fact that we just paid our taxes and because, well, I’m still pretty pissed about it.
let me explain.
the government denied us claiming the thousands of dollars (not covered by insurance) that we paid for our IVF cycle last year.
they had the audacity to claim it as “non-essential.”
first of all, how dare you?!
second of all, IVF is hard + this is just one of the many reasons why comments like- “why don’t you *just* do IVF?” aren’t helpful.
the financial aspect is just the TIP of the iceberg, there are MANY reasons why people choose not to pursue IVF. but saying something like this makes it comes across like IVF is an easy means to an end, as if it’s a quick fix to your infertility.
well, it’s not.
I totally understand the suggestion + I get why people say it. they want to be helpful and they want to offer help. especially when IVF has an enticing reputation of being an effective form of treatment. however, I feel like if it’s unsolicited advice, it may do more harm than good.
either way- if we want to see change, we need to be the change!
if we truly want to break the stigma of infertility, then we have to talk about the things that others may not want to talk about.
so, maybe let’s talk about some things you can ask or say instead. this isn’t walking on egg shells around people that are “too sensitive.” this is learning to recognize the vulnerable, intimate, and painful experience that infertility can be + knowing how best to support someone going through it.
here are a few questions you can ask to show your support:
💉 “I’m not familiar with that, can you explain more?”
💉 “How can I best support you right now?”
💉 “Do you need me to listen or help?”
💉 “Do you mind if I ask questions?”
💉 “I’m here for you.”
and there’s a whole lot more! to read the rest of the story, head to my blog! link in bio.
do you have other ideas or questions of how people can best support you? please share + drop them below!👇🏽
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