“This is the hardest post I have ever had to write. I have been so hesitant to share this post and have stopped myself from posting it around a hundred times. I try to keep my page positive and uplifting but sometimes, life throws you a curve ball. I promised myself that on this platform, I would be real and candid and that no topic would be off the table… so here it is… my story:
The ending to this journey is not what we had expected. In my mind, nothing could take this joy away from us… I was confident this baby was ours. We had planned it, I had a healthy pregnancy/delivery before, I live a healthy lifestyle… Never did I plan for the slightest chance that I would lose a baby. I had heard about it from people I know… but never imagined it would happen to us. Until, that is, my 8 week doctors appointment where my heart was shattered by the words “you are having a miscarriage.” I was in Los Angeles when I found out that we were pregnant and had arrived back home in Beirut the day before my appointment. I was excited to have my first doctors appointment since finding out I was pregnant and couldn’t wait to come home with an ultrasound to show my husband. We had even planned how we would announce it to our friends and family here since I had already announced the pregnancy while I was in LA. Instead, I left the hospital empty handed.
I am still healing physically and emotionally from what has happened. I do not want to be comforted or be told that everything will be okay, because right now… it isn’t. I want to be acknowledged. I know I have so much to be grateful for, but I still lost someone I love.
To the friends and family who knew… Thank you for the love and support during this time in our lives. To those we didn’t tell, forgive us… we weren’t ready and didn’t know how to tell you. I hope one day this topic of loss will not be so taboo to share. In these times, more than ever, we need the love and comfort of community to stand by us, but we choose to isolate ourselves from fear of what others may say or think. Today, I choose to break my silence and share my story, hoping that with time, others may find the courage to do the same 🙏🏼”
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