“During my first pregnancy, I read all the books and felt prepared for everything. The one topic that was NEVER discussed was how to handle unsolicited advice from people especially when it’s from your family members. Immediately after delivery, it started. The “you should do this”, “this is how I did it”, “maybe she’s not getting enough milk”, blah blah blah BLAH!
I had a plan. My plan was working. My baby was thriving and I just wanted to tell everyone to shut up!
I know people don’t mean any harm and they just want to “help”. The part that I didn’t understand was that I didn’t ask for the advice.
I am independent and don’t ask for help unless I REALLY need it.
If my baby had gas, I heard “give
some gripe water” but I didn’t feel comfortable giving it at such a young age (7 days old). Gentle bicycle leg motions were just enough to give her relief and I was satisfied with that. I got to a point where it was just too much. I wanted to cry because even though everything was fine I felt as though all the comments were making me feel like I wasn’t doing my best. The feelings of guilt and inadequacy started taking over my mind.
I was worried about hurting other people’s feelings and eventually realized that I had to put my foot down. I started to say “no” and educate others on why their suggestions might not always be what’s right. My way of taking care of my baby was different from theirs BUT the end result was the same- a happy and healthy baby.
The moment I started saying “no” and set boundaries, things started to change. It was awkward at first but I was confident as a mother and I knew what was best for MY child. Be TRANSPARENT and say NO. The sooner you do it, the easier it will be. I got my message across which made my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies so much better. Everyone backed off and let me be a mother MY way. Don’t let others ruin your happiness and your journey with your baby. Your job isn’t to please others. Your job is to be a mother to your baby and do what’s best for YOUR family.”
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