VBAC vs. Csection….. VBAC vs. Csection….. My mind and my heart go back and forth frequently. How did you deliver your baby? Have you had either of these? Or maybe both?
As I lay here with Oakley and we feel baby boys kicks together, I think back on my labor experience with Oakley. It’s a story I never shared or really talked about, and shied away from when anyone asked.
After 10+ hours of labor, 1 epidural that wore off and 1 that failed, stuck at 8 cm dilated, swollen and finding out Oakley’s heart rate was slowing down, I had an emergency Csection…ALL of that and I still felt like a failure. I didn’t know what I know now. I was not education on Csections. In fact I completely skipped over the topic through out all the research and planning I did during my first pregnancy. It was NOT apart of my “birth plan.” I did NOT know anyone else who had a Csection (that I knew of).
I quickly realized that having a Csection was more common than I thought, it was anything BUT the “easy” way out. Recovery was HARD and I had to constantly remind myself that in the end the result was the same, a HEALTHY baby.
My OB and I have had some really good conversations and he backs me 100% in trying for a VBAC. But I sit here and think to myself what does my heart want, and I’m pretty sure thats a VBAC, though I’m also afraid to get my hopes up. I go back and forth about how nice it would be to schedule a Csection. To pick the date and be 100% prepped and ready for baby boy’s arrival. And then I go back to thinking how expensive Csections are, the longer stay through a pandemic, versus an “easier” recovery with a VBAC and toddler waiting for me at home while I also care for a newborn, and the experience I always had my heart set on.
Also to be clear I am talking about MY experiences and my thoughts. A baby and a successful birth is an absolute blessing and no woman should ever be made to feel any less for any reason.
For now I’m taking it day by day but If you’ve had a VBAC I’d love to hear your experiences!”