Motherhood in a Pandemic

Motherhood in a Pandemic

This pandemic is SHIT. There, I said it. And I’ll say something else while I’m at it: being a ColicMama is the most isolating and devastatingly lonely thing that has ever happened to me. Twice.

I cannot wait for all of this to be over. To be able to have a friend over for a play date. To be able to introduce our new daughter to family members who haven’t seen us since 2019. Just to be able to take my kids to the fucking park on a school day.

I know that so many people have struggled and by no means do I think I have it worse than everybody else. We are lucky to be warm and dry in our home and we are so, so lucky to be healthy. But having a new baby is tough at the best of times. Having a new baby who constantly cries is emotionally and physically depleting. Having a new baby who constantly cries during a time when you aren’t allowed to accept help from others is a particularly soul-crushing situation to be in.

I won’t lie, I’ve been in a dark place these days. I cry all the time. I say 100x a day that I can’t do this, that I don’t know how to do this. But weeks have gone by and despite my constant protestations I AM doing this, and will likely continue to do this until some glorious day months in the future when I suddenly realize that it’s been days since I’ve had to bounce my screaming baby on a yoga ball.

Anyway, check on your friends with kids, especially the first timers. This is a rough, rough year to have a new baby and I’m positive that we aren’t meant to do this shit alone, WE CAN DO HARD THINGS, friends! “

Instagram: @north_west_jess

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