Your Story is Valid

Your Story is Valid

The other day I was reading an online thread where women were sharing their birth stories. ⁣⁣
There were about 50 of them, but at around the 5th one I started to feel very small. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
“Natural, drug free”… I read amongst many of them, as I felt myself losing grip on the validity of my own birth experiences. I can’t say those words for any of mine, and why did I feel like less of a woman because I couldn’t?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The words are descriptors. Truths for those stories. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So why was I struggling? Almost as if there was an invisible sliding scale of validity for how we step into motherhood, should we step at all. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Are science-assisted pregnancies less real?⁣⁣
Do emergency deliveries mean failure?⁣⁣
Is a scheduled one too undramatic? ⁣⁣
Does getting pain relief mean you’re not strong enough? ⁣⁣
Does one parent any less if they don’t carry?⁣
⁣⁣
Was I just not “woman” enough?⁣⁣

I don’t know what will happen at our birth experience. While I may try and plan, I’m also taking time to give myself and everyone else I know validity in their stories. ⁣⁣
These stories, that no matter how much time⁣⁣
passes, we seem to exchange like currency of motherhood. Creating bonds with them, and sometimes, like I did, also experiencing feelings of inadequacies as we do. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The truth is, womanhood isn’t defined by motherhood. And should you enter into motherhood…⁣⁣
We are no better or worse for how different our stories make us. ⁣⁣
They are not one-size-fits-all. ⁣⁣
What should be bonding is the complexities and differences of them all. Just like motherhood and womanhood itself. ⁣⁣
ALL valid. ⁣⁣
ALL amazing. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So whether I deliver naturally and drug free, have a c-section or with any drug available to me, my story will be valid. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Just like every single story before, and every story not yet written.

Instagram: @thebirdspapaya

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