“I’ve typed and deleted this too many times. But I want to start 2021 off with honesty and vulnerability. So, here we go. Let’s normalize talks about postpartum depression.
Prior to Peyton, my life consisted of two main things: working and working out. Since her birth, I feel that I have lost my identity. My world has been turned around and flipped upside down. I cry over everything. Then I get frustrated with myself because I don’t know why I can’t stop crying. I exercised until the night before I was induced. All of that mental, emotional, and physical, strength and confidence, have been seemingly flushed down the toilet. No one told me I would still look pregnant for awhile. There are moments when I feel that I am not enough. Completely defeated. I don’t want to accept help because social media makes motherhood look easy.
Gone are the days of being selfish. I have to relearn how to prioritize self care while simultaneously keeping a tiny human alive.
I love Peyton more than words can describe. She is truly a gift from God and I can’t imagine life without her. My husband has been more than supportive. Not every second of every day is bad. The highs are high and the lows are low.
So, this is me – normalizing talks about postpartum depression. It’s not necessarily getting easier, but it does get better by 1% each day. I’m writing this so other moms know they’re not alone. It’s not talked about enough, so I’m starting the conversation. This is my postpartum truth. Stay strong out there, mamas. We’re in this together. Here’s to taking it all in one day at a time.