This post is by Therapist and educator for pregnancy, postpartum & early motherhood – @kateborsato
Post-baby sex is stressful isn’t it? ⠀
There’s a lot of fear, expectations, guilty, pressure, worry, avoidance, conflict, and so much more interwoven with sex. It’s complicated. ⠀
I had such a great chat with Ashley Mariani from @mindonlinetherapy (posted on my IGTV) about sex and intimacy post-kids. She shared some gems that were so validating and normalizing, so make sure to listen to it! ⠀
Continue reading for some ideas to build awareness and understand your sex-drive and for some ideas to begin to rebuild intimacy into your relationship (when you’re ready, that is)⠀
- It’s common for women to experience reduced sex drive after having a baby. However, not every mother experiences this.
- Sleep deprivation, no alone time and feeling touched out are legitimate factors that can lower sex drive.
- Physiological factors can impact your sex drive, such as hormone changes, nutrition, and thyroid functioning. You can get these checked.
- When you don’t desire sex, that can be your body’s way of telling you to slow down. Instead of thinking “What’s wrong with me” ask yourself: Why does having a low drive actually make a lot of sense in this situation?
- Feeling unappreciated, taken for granted or invalidated can lower your desire for intimacy with your partner.
- Mental health challenges can impact sex drive. Rather than concluding that something is wrong with your body, tend to your mental needs.
- If you want to increase desire, try to get more sleep. Lack of sleep is linked to less intimacy, anxiety and irritability.
- Be curious about underlying relationship issues like unexpressed needs, ineffective communication, or resentment.
- Address limiting beliefs you may have about when, where or how sex should happen, especially in motherhood.
- Understand that sex exists on a spectrum and there can be other intimate activities you can do.
- If intimacy feels like a burden, give yourself and your partner options in term of trying other forms of intimacy that feels more realistic.
For more follow @kateborsato and @mindonlinetherapy
I think it’s also important to note that none of the points may apply to you and there will be plenty of people that won’t find it stressful. It can also be easy and wonderful and beautiful and super exciting to get back to… That was my experience 🙂
So true !! Thanks for sharing your experience !!