This post is by Therapist and educator for pregnancy, postpartum & early motherhood – @kateborsato
Post-baby sex is stressful isn’t it? ⠀
There’s a lot of fear, expectations, guilty, pressure, worry, avoidance, conflict, and so much more interwoven with sex. It’s complicated. ⠀
I had such a great chat with Ashley Mariani from @mindonlinetherapy (posted on my IGTV) about sex and intimacy post-kids. She shared some gems that were so validating and normalizing, so make sure to listen to it! ⠀
Continue reading for some ideas to build awareness and understand your sex-drive and for some ideas to begin to rebuild intimacy into your relationship (when you’re ready, that is)⠀
- It’s common for women to experience reduced sex drive after having a baby. However, not every mother experiences this.
- Sleep deprivation, no alone time and feeling touched out are legitimate factors that can lower sex drive.
- Physiological factors can impact your sex drive, such as hormone changes, nutrition, and thyroid functioning. You can get these checked.
- When you don’t desire sex, that can be your body’s way of telling you to slow down. Instead of thinking “What’s wrong with me” ask yourself: Why does having a low drive actually make a lot of sense in this situation?
- Feeling unappreciated, taken for granted or invalidated can lower your desire for intimacy with your partner.
- Mental health challenges can impact sex drive. Rather than concluding that something is wrong with your body, tend to your mental needs.
- If you want to increase desire, try to get more sleep. Lack of sleep is linked to less intimacy, anxiety and irritability.
- Be curious about underlying relationship issues like unexpressed needs, ineffective communication, or resentment.
- Address limiting beliefs you may have about when, where or how sex should happen, especially in motherhood.
- Understand that sex exists on a spectrum and there can be other intimate activities you can do.
- If intimacy feels like a burden, give yourself and your partner options in term of trying other forms of intimacy that feels more realistic.