Brooke shares her birth story to baby Wells.
I knew going for a VBAC could end in disappointment. But I figured it couldn’t get any more scary than the emergency c-section I had due to Rhodes’ heart rate decelerations, and since I knew how that felt, I would be ok with the delivery no matter how it ended, long as babe is healthy!
I figured that since I had already processed the feelings of failure an emergency c-section can bring, that if it happened again, it would be easier or maybe not even that hard, because…”been there, done that.”
For over 24 hours, Wells handled everything so well — the ruptured amniotic sac; the intense contractions that somehow did not encourage dilation; & eventually, at hour 22 of contractions in the hospital and limited dilation, Pitocin.
Unlike my birth with Rhodes, the sudden beeps and buzzes, room full of people was because I went haywire. I passed out with low blood pressure within minutes of receiving an epidural. I learned I do not respond typically to them; my vitals plummeted but I never actually lost movement or sensation.
The anesthesiologist stabilized my blood pressure and I became conscious after he injected “something I do not know the name of” but my heart rate remained very low. This caused Wells’ heart rate to cut more than half from his dependable 130’s to low 60’s.
It felt like a length of worry and fear, stomach flipping panic, but it took less than 10 minutes for people of various departments to rush me into the OR. Noah was not allowed to join. Instead he sat in an empty room waiting & worrying.
I begged the doctors and nurses to promise me baby would be ok. There was no time to coerce the epidural line to numb me or do a spinal, so the anesthesiologist said they had to put me under. I cried & agreed and asked if I would wake up.
Praise the Maker! I did wake up, after Wells had been delivered as a HEALTHY little nugget. It was/is sad for me to know others had held him first & that neither Noah or I heard his first cry.
When I woke, Wells was handed to me to hold, I was fuzzy & tired but so relieved. I cried a cry of relief & thankfulness & a bit of heartache that I hadn’t before.
The entire thing makes me feel many things, happy & sad, but Wells is healthy and here. And goodness, he’s so damn cute!
Alls well that ends well, especially when it’s Wells that’s well!
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Keep up with Brooke @brookekupcho