No Hospital Visitors

 “I didn’t have visitors come see us at the hospital, and I don’t know why it took me birthing four children to figure this out.

For 32 hours, minus the 2 hours my husband brought the kids to meet their baby brother, I sat in a quiet room completely submerged in the precious first moments with the life we created and brought into this world.

It was peaceful. It was happy. It was lovely.

My nurses kept asking where our family lived… it was obvious they were use to full recovery rooms also. You could see it in their faces each time they entered my room. “Wow, it’s quiet in here.” “Yes,” I would smile peacefully. “My home is very different,” I would laugh.

Unlike my other births, I didn’t have to spend my first moments as a new mother passing my baby around to those who were eager to meet him and whom I was eager to share him with. Unlike my other births, I didn’t have to feel like I was entertaining from my hospital bed when all I wanted to do was close my eyes. Do not get me wrong though, those experiences were special and full of love as well. Being surrounded by your family and friends during happy times is something to be treasured.

My baby is now two weeks old. All the visitors that would have been at the hospital have met him. Some several times. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them to meet him. Of course I did. It was that I wanted my moments. My moments that I know go all too fast. My moments that would be my first and last.

Whether you want a full room, a few close people, or a quiet intimate room…. be sure it is what you want. Those moments are so precious. Share them if you wish. Sit in them and soak them up with your husband if you wish. Be selfish with your time if you wish.

I will forever treasure those magical, quiet first moments with my last baby.”

Instagram: @mimosaswithmoms 

Instagram vs. Reality

“Behind every beautiful newborn is a mama… A mama who feels like she has been hit by a car. Instagram can be deceiving. Margo has been amazing with Sage, Mason has been an incredible dad, and I am so in love with my little family that I cry about it… a lot (ask Mason 😂). What I have shared is how amazing my scheduled c section was. How I wasn’t tired holding Sage for the first time and how in love with her I am. What I didn’t share is how I wanted to take a nurse home with me. How I couldn’t get out of bed alone for days. And how I still had to take care of a newborn and feed her every 2.5 hours no matter how bad I felt. My cut is prob about 6 inches long (it will get smaller with time), I look 4m pregnant, and I’m covered in spit up and boob milk/a soaked T-shirt 24/7. I can barley lift my toddler and had to wear a huge pad that Margo called my “diaper” lolllll. I don’t want to be fake on Instagram and make it seem like having a newborn or a c section is a walk the park… because it’s not. But I know I will miss these moments and look back and smile because I won’t think about the “hard times”.”

By: @alex_a_jeffrie

Vaginal Birth After Cesarean

”I’ve decided to share what’s going on in my head on my feed where other mama’s who are going through what I am can come to and read through!

I’m so torn between a VBAC which I was SOOOO set on having since finding out I was pregnant. That’s why I decided to go with a midwife this time around, in hopes to have the support I need to go ahead with the vbac and feel amazing about it.

But after the last few weeks watching birthing videos, reading stories etc. It has me freaking terrified. Like, I know our bodies are meant to do this BUT the thought of a head squishing through my vajayjay just makes me so freaking scared. The thought of going through labor again and all the pain and emotions that come with it, to have it end in a c section again freaking terrifies me.

But not being able to still be the mom I am to Presley while recovering from a c section also scares the living daylights out of me and is my major push for a vaginal delivery….

Basically I’m just so confused and can use any words of encouragement or to hear your birthing stories to help me feel like I can or can’t do this! Ahhh!

So please share them below for other mama’s who are feeling how I am can come back to and read!”

By: @stephamberlynn

Why Embryo Adoption/Donation?⁣

“Why embryo adoption/donation?⁣

I’ve had so many people ask me this. Here is a little insight to why and an update on our journey. ⁣

Struggling with infertility lead us to answers that we desperately didn’t want to hear. The same day we found out our IVF cycle failed we found out my husband had stage 3 colon cancer. We tried banking sperm before chemo but it was too late and found out all 22 embryos were abnormal… hence zero frozen and a failed cycle. Thanks PCOS & MFI.⁣

Adoption was something we were both interested in (we have watched our close friends adopt a child-and has touched my heart in ways I didn’t think was possible.) I also still want to experience all the feels with pregnancy. Then of course the financial part…. we would have to wait at least three years to save up money to adopt an infant. (Thanks to Dave Ramsey).⁣

I feel weird saying we were lead to embryo adoption (so cliche) but we were! Last year consisted of praying, crying, surgeries, chemo, crying and more praying. We also grieved that we weren’t going to bring our DNA into this world. Our first  embryo donor match fell through and crushed us. ⁣

But you know what!!! HE (aka: the man upstairs) shows up and showed up for us! It only took our current donor (aka: Fellow TTC sister/bestie) THREE times of her offering the unmeasurable gift of embryos to us… it’s now so clear to me that this is Why we had to go through all the heartache. Why in the hell didn’t I accept her offer the first time she offered? Honestly, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but thankful she was persistent!⁣

To give someone the gift of life and the chance at parenthood is unbelievable-It literally leaves me speechless. March 27th is when they will be signing and transferring the ownership of their four beautiful embabies to us. I can’t believe it. They worked their ass off for those embabies and to give them to us. WOW! Yes, I know we still have a long road with many milestones to overcome but I’m choosing happy thoughts only.” ⁣praying4babyando

Are you currently on a donor journey or starting one soon? 👇”

featured on @the.ivf.warrior

How to Support a Friend Struggling with Fertility Issues

How to support a friend struggling with fertility issues. By @filipajackson

I got a lot of DMs about this topic, and to be honest it’s not really one that I have ever thought about. I was so wrapped up in the fertility side of things, and providing knowledge and support to those struggling that I never thought about the support system. So what do you say? How do you act? When your friend or loved one is going through fertility issues. Well I wrote an in-depth blog post about this which is already live, but I thought I would break some tips down here too, as it’s obviously something a lot of you are struggling with. And although I can’t talk on behalf of everyone dealing with fertility, these are just my opinions…

1. Let’s talk about you! I never told my friends that I was struggling, and I never told them for a reason. Our fertility issues would play on my brain 24/7 so when I hung out with my friends it was a welcome escape to talk about anything but. Hearing their issues gave me comfort and brought me back to reality. For that tea date (or whatever), I was me again.

2. Forget the advice because you truly don’t know what someone is going through. Heck I don’t even truly understand the feelings of someone else going through fertility issues. It’s a very personal journey and everyone deals with it in their own way. So unless you’re asked for advice just don’t give it. There is nothing worse than being told to ‘just relax and it will happen’, or that your friend did this and it was successful. If your friend is willing to speak to you, then listen.

3. Be that shoulder, allow it to be cried on. Bring comfort to the situation. Allow them to rant, to cry, to laugh. Listen and hold their hand.

4. Distractions are key! Like I had previously said getting away from my thoughts was super important. If you can, organize something. Take all the worries of planning away from them and treat them. Whether it’s for a tea date, picnic, shopping trip or full on vacay! Distractions are welcomed.

Birth is Transformational

@justinezampogna “Birth can be so many things…

To me,

It’s powerful.

It’s empowering.

It’s beautiful.

It’s unbelievably challenging.

To me,

It is truly transformational. –

I went in to a whole new world, where I felt so connected to my body and to my baby and the more powerful it became the deeper I went. –

I never complicated it. I surrendered to the process, I moved my hips, listened to music that empowered me, I breathed, I remained soft, no internals, I had my yoga mat, my shower and the worlds best support – my husband, my son, my mum and two incredible midwives. –

I wanted to make the most of each surge…and as weird as this may sound, after my pregnancy loss journey last year and that pain I felt, I really wanted to FEEL birth for all that it is…every single bit of it, so I welcomed all of those sensations and these photos to me are EVERYTHING…

Looking at them I see strength, I see vulnerability, I see so much love but most of all it brings back all of the feelings I felt from that day, the power of healing… A mama who drew so much strength from her loss to birth her rainbow and to heal a part of her heart .

Thats how powerful  birth is to me. Thats how special my little man is to me. –

I can’t thank you enough Jess @home_grown_photography. I will forever be grateful for you capturing one of the most special moments of my life. 💫

Infertility is…

@while_we.wait “This is something I hate to admit. But in order to keep it “raw and real” it’s something I feel like I need to share.

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Last month, my younger sister informed me that she was pregnant with her second child. We were sitting on the couch in her living room while our husbands were working outside. Typically, informing your sister you are pregnant should be a joyous occasion, but my infertility made it a sad one instead.

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I could sense my sister was hesitant to tell me. She knows my husband and I have been struggling to have a baby of our own for the last 3 years. But when she said it, I couldn’t control the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that came over me. I congratulated led her and then we sat there silently, watching tv as I held back my tears.

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On the drive home, I informed my husband of the news because he asked why I was so quiet. He responded with “oh” and we both remained silent the rest of the drive, but this time I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. We were in the middle of starting our second IUI, so we were both very emotional at the time.

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Fast forward one month and I am nothing but happy for my sister. Not that I wasn’t happy for her initially, but I just felt sad for my husband and myself at the time. It sucks to feel like people are constantly passing you by. Especially when you are trying so hard to have the same things they have.

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Am I still jealous of my pregnant sister? Duh! Is it a lot less? For sure. I think being happy for someone as you are in the midst of struggling to have the same thing is one of the hardest things a person can do. I commend all you ladies who try to do so.”

Young Mom

“My age doesn’t determine my ability to be a good mother ❤️

I got pregnant and became a mom at 19.

Being a young mom comes with a fair share of challenges and sacrifices.

Just when I was getting used to my woman’s body at 19, my body started changing to create a new life and was no longer my own.

As a young mom I am sacrificing my youth.

A lot of people my age are out at bars, concerts and parties and meeting new people all the time…

Meanwhile I’m home all night and day changing diapers, feeding the baby, potty training, sleep training, etc.

My husband and I didn’t have much “us” time. We got pregnant around 8 months after meeting. Those 8 months were blissful and amazing. Sometimes I wish that we would have had more time with just the two of us.

But despite the things you sacrifice when being a young parent, there are so many amazing things you get to experience.

I’m growing up with my kids as I raise them and everyday I learn from my children as much as they learn from me.

I have learned to be happy and thankful for what I have, to be resourceful, to look forward to the future and what’s in store for my family and I.

I’m glad that motherhood came early for me. It’s worth the sacrifices and challenges to have this extra time with my babies 🥰

So to all the young mommas out there doubting yourself or being told by someone that you can’t be a good mother because you’re too young…

Don’t listen to them. Keep being the amazing momma you are.

I know you’re doing your best. I know it because I was you…and I still am you ❤️

Instagram: @Mandythemama

Hello Hormones

 “HELLO HORMONES.

Hooly Dooley, have they done a number on me this time round.

The baby blues were more intense than I’ve experienced before and caught me off guard.

But, it’s normal.

The feelings are valid.

This is a part of postpartum.

This is physiological and part of our development after birth.

Our feelings deserve to be heard without judgement.

Our feelings deserve to be validated without someone else making it about them.

We deserve to vent, to cry, to feel anxious or panicked for no real reason, other than the hormones flying around.

We have big feelings that need to be felt and processed.

They will dissipate and become less intense over a short time – and if they don’t, let someone know because it could be something more but something that you can be supported through and given help.

We all experience different variations of baby blues.

For me, my third baby saw it being the most intense. I felt unstable and fragile. I think this was also to do with my baby arriving 4 weeks early, so maybe my body wasn’t ready to make the adjustment?

The worst has definitely passed and I’m feeling more myself and intune now.”

Instagram: @jessie.juggles.three

Photo by: @amycaitlinphotographer

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