Why Embryo Adoption/Donation?⁣

“Why embryo adoption/donation?⁣

I’ve had so many people ask me this. Here is a little insight to why and an update on our journey. ⁣

Struggling with infertility lead us to answers that we desperately didn’t want to hear. The same day we found out our IVF cycle failed we found out my husband had stage 3 colon cancer. We tried banking sperm before chemo but it was too late and found out all 22 embryos were abnormal… hence zero frozen and a failed cycle. Thanks PCOS & MFI.⁣

Adoption was something we were both interested in (we have watched our close friends adopt a child-and has touched my heart in ways I didn’t think was possible.) I also still want to experience all the feels with pregnancy. Then of course the financial part…. we would have to wait at least three years to save up money to adopt an infant. (Thanks to Dave Ramsey).⁣

I feel weird saying we were lead to embryo adoption (so cliche) but we were! Last year consisted of praying, crying, surgeries, chemo, crying and more praying. We also grieved that we weren’t going to bring our DNA into this world. Our first  embryo donor match fell through and crushed us. ⁣

But you know what!!! HE (aka: the man upstairs) shows up and showed up for us! It only took our current donor (aka: Fellow TTC sister/bestie) THREE times of her offering the unmeasurable gift of embryos to us… it’s now so clear to me that this is Why we had to go through all the heartache. Why in the hell didn’t I accept her offer the first time she offered? Honestly, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but thankful she was persistent!⁣

To give someone the gift of life and the chance at parenthood is unbelievable-It literally leaves me speechless. March 27th is when they will be signing and transferring the ownership of their four beautiful embabies to us. I can’t believe it. They worked their ass off for those embabies and to give them to us. WOW! Yes, I know we still have a long road with many milestones to overcome but I’m choosing happy thoughts only.” ⁣praying4babyando

Are you currently on a donor journey or starting one soon? 👇”

featured on @the.ivf.warrior

How to Support a Friend Struggling with Fertility Issues

How to support a friend struggling with fertility issues. By @filipajackson

I got a lot of DMs about this topic, and to be honest it’s not really one that I have ever thought about. I was so wrapped up in the fertility side of things, and providing knowledge and support to those struggling that I never thought about the support system. So what do you say? How do you act? When your friend or loved one is going through fertility issues. Well I wrote an in-depth blog post about this which is already live, but I thought I would break some tips down here too, as it’s obviously something a lot of you are struggling with. And although I can’t talk on behalf of everyone dealing with fertility, these are just my opinions…

1. Let’s talk about you! I never told my friends that I was struggling, and I never told them for a reason. Our fertility issues would play on my brain 24/7 so when I hung out with my friends it was a welcome escape to talk about anything but. Hearing their issues gave me comfort and brought me back to reality. For that tea date (or whatever), I was me again.

2. Forget the advice because you truly don’t know what someone is going through. Heck I don’t even truly understand the feelings of someone else going through fertility issues. It’s a very personal journey and everyone deals with it in their own way. So unless you’re asked for advice just don’t give it. There is nothing worse than being told to ‘just relax and it will happen’, or that your friend did this and it was successful. If your friend is willing to speak to you, then listen.

3. Be that shoulder, allow it to be cried on. Bring comfort to the situation. Allow them to rant, to cry, to laugh. Listen and hold their hand.

4. Distractions are key! Like I had previously said getting away from my thoughts was super important. If you can, organize something. Take all the worries of planning away from them and treat them. Whether it’s for a tea date, picnic, shopping trip or full on vacay! Distractions are welcomed.

Birth is Transformational

@justinezampogna “Birth can be so many things…

To me,

It’s powerful.

It’s empowering.

It’s beautiful.

It’s unbelievably challenging.

To me,

It is truly transformational. –

I went in to a whole new world, where I felt so connected to my body and to my baby and the more powerful it became the deeper I went. –

I never complicated it. I surrendered to the process, I moved my hips, listened to music that empowered me, I breathed, I remained soft, no internals, I had my yoga mat, my shower and the worlds best support – my husband, my son, my mum and two incredible midwives. –

I wanted to make the most of each surge…and as weird as this may sound, after my pregnancy loss journey last year and that pain I felt, I really wanted to FEEL birth for all that it is…every single bit of it, so I welcomed all of those sensations and these photos to me are EVERYTHING…

Looking at them I see strength, I see vulnerability, I see so much love but most of all it brings back all of the feelings I felt from that day, the power of healing… A mama who drew so much strength from her loss to birth her rainbow and to heal a part of her heart .

Thats how powerful  birth is to me. Thats how special my little man is to me. –

I can’t thank you enough Jess @home_grown_photography. I will forever be grateful for you capturing one of the most special moments of my life. 💫

Infertility is…

@while_we.wait “This is something I hate to admit. But in order to keep it “raw and real” it’s something I feel like I need to share.

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Last month, my younger sister informed me that she was pregnant with her second child. We were sitting on the couch in her living room while our husbands were working outside. Typically, informing your sister you are pregnant should be a joyous occasion, but my infertility made it a sad one instead.

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I could sense my sister was hesitant to tell me. She knows my husband and I have been struggling to have a baby of our own for the last 3 years. But when she said it, I couldn’t control the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that came over me. I congratulated led her and then we sat there silently, watching tv as I held back my tears.

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On the drive home, I informed my husband of the news because he asked why I was so quiet. He responded with “oh” and we both remained silent the rest of the drive, but this time I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. We were in the middle of starting our second IUI, so we were both very emotional at the time.

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Fast forward one month and I am nothing but happy for my sister. Not that I wasn’t happy for her initially, but I just felt sad for my husband and myself at the time. It sucks to feel like people are constantly passing you by. Especially when you are trying so hard to have the same things they have.

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Am I still jealous of my pregnant sister? Duh! Is it a lot less? For sure. I think being happy for someone as you are in the midst of struggling to have the same thing is one of the hardest things a person can do. I commend all you ladies who try to do so.”

Young Mom

“My age doesn’t determine my ability to be a good mother ❤️

I got pregnant and became a mom at 19.

Being a young mom comes with a fair share of challenges and sacrifices.

Just when I was getting used to my woman’s body at 19, my body started changing to create a new life and was no longer my own.

As a young mom I am sacrificing my youth.

A lot of people my age are out at bars, concerts and parties and meeting new people all the time…

Meanwhile I’m home all night and day changing diapers, feeding the baby, potty training, sleep training, etc.

My husband and I didn’t have much “us” time. We got pregnant around 8 months after meeting. Those 8 months were blissful and amazing. Sometimes I wish that we would have had more time with just the two of us.

But despite the things you sacrifice when being a young parent, there are so many amazing things you get to experience.

I’m growing up with my kids as I raise them and everyday I learn from my children as much as they learn from me.

I have learned to be happy and thankful for what I have, to be resourceful, to look forward to the future and what’s in store for my family and I.

I’m glad that motherhood came early for me. It’s worth the sacrifices and challenges to have this extra time with my babies 🥰

So to all the young mommas out there doubting yourself or being told by someone that you can’t be a good mother because you’re too young…

Don’t listen to them. Keep being the amazing momma you are.

I know you’re doing your best. I know it because I was you…and I still am you ❤️

Instagram: @Mandythemama

Hello Hormones

 “HELLO HORMONES.

Hooly Dooley, have they done a number on me this time round.

The baby blues were more intense than I’ve experienced before and caught me off guard.

But, it’s normal.

The feelings are valid.

This is a part of postpartum.

This is physiological and part of our development after birth.

Our feelings deserve to be heard without judgement.

Our feelings deserve to be validated without someone else making it about them.

We deserve to vent, to cry, to feel anxious or panicked for no real reason, other than the hormones flying around.

We have big feelings that need to be felt and processed.

They will dissipate and become less intense over a short time – and if they don’t, let someone know because it could be something more but something that you can be supported through and given help.

We all experience different variations of baby blues.

For me, my third baby saw it being the most intense. I felt unstable and fragile. I think this was also to do with my baby arriving 4 weeks early, so maybe my body wasn’t ready to make the adjustment?

The worst has definitely passed and I’m feeling more myself and intune now.”

Instagram: @jessie.juggles.three

Photo by: @amycaitlinphotographer

It’s OK To Not Be OK

MAMAS! Stop thinking your current struggles are small compared to others. You are not living someone else’s life.. you are living this one. Right here and right now! .

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When I was pregnant with Emerie I reframed for a long time telling people how I really felt. And I battled with guilt because this feeling of depression and fear wasn’t normal! Telling myself there are women who would do anything to be carrying a life. Get over it faith! But I couldn’t stop panicking. Crying. I couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. I felt as if I was fighting for my life. Dramatic? Sure you could say so… but it’s what I was feeling.

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I don’t care how big or small your current situation is. You are not being a drama queen. You are not ungrateful. You are allowed to not be okay durning it all. .

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I truly believe we suppressing our emotions only makes the trial worse. It’s okay. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. That way you don’t stay in that season of life longer than you need to.

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Have you ever felt like there was a time you couldn’t open up about what you were feeling in fear that’s what others would think?”

Instagram: @lifeforeverchanged

The Gift

“I refuse to hide my belly, stretch marks, cellulite and everything that went into bringing our sweet girl into this world…this is REAL, this is beautiful, this is the gift God has given us as women. The ability to stretch to maximum capacity to allow healthy baby’s to grow deep within our womb. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The GIFT of perfect timing…when that perfect hormonal cocktail is released to signal the contracting of our uterus, slowly (or sometimes really REALLY fast) pushing our baby’s down through our expanding pelvis’s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The GIFT of lifting our babies up into our arms where they know exactly how to nurse. I just sat here in awe this morning thinking about how our bodies know exactly how to double our blood supply so we have reserves after we birth our placentas…and then just hours later we can stand up, walk to the bathroom to pee & come back with some sexy diapers on to hold and nurture our little ones. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

It’s blowing my mind…yet, so many women hate on their “mom bellies” they hide their cellulite, they WISH for less loose skin…today, don’t forget – please don’t forget – how fierce and gorgeous you are!  We created the gift of LIFE, our bodies will never be the same and I’m here to shout from the internet rooftops that I’m totally a-ok with that! .”

Instagram: @alliupham

Kami & Fam

I was 27 years old and ready to start a family with my husband. After a few months I experienced a chemical pregnancy and I was a little confused about what that meant. I started to realize that this journey to pregnancy may not be easy. You’re never told that growing up.

So we continued trying, a few months went by and I was pregnant. We celebrated with caution but as weeks passed and I felt the intensity of early pregnancy (sick day and night) I let myself feel safe. The day our lives changed began innocently enough,  we went for a walk, we enjoyed a morning of talking about the baby and the possibilities of things to come. We were home 20 minutes when I started bleeding. My heart sank and I knew; despite the reassurance from my husband and mom that bleeding is common in early pregnancy. By the next day the bleeding was heavy and the pain kept me from standing straight. We spent the night in emerge waiting…waiting to hear that nothing could be done and sent home.

What I didn’t know was that the bleeding could last for weeks or that I’d experience contractions so painful I would be bedridden. I wasn’t prepared for what I would pass. I let out a shriek when I saw it. I didn’t know any of this. And there was no way of knowing the grief that was to come. I was empty. In every sense of the word. We will never get to hold our child in our arms. I wasn’t prepared for that reality and that pain.

None of this was ever talked about so everything was a shock to me. After months of living in my own mind and losing myself to grief I opened up and shared my story. It was the best decision to let the healing begin as I learned that I am not alone and I shouldn’t feel ashamed, that there is so much love and support from people who have a similar experience and my child got to be celebrated as they should be. I’ve since become very open about my story so that anyone in my life that, God forbid, has to experience loss knows from the start that they are not alone.

We are lucky enough to have our sweet rainbow baby here with us and she just turned one!

Instagram: @kami_and_fam

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