“I wasn’t sure if I should share this here. But as a new entrepreneur and Mother, I feel it’s really important to build a brand that’s authentically me. And I can’t post about beautiful products and all of the things I am devoting so much time to and feel authentic without sharing something major happening in my life.
Sensitive topic: I share this because I think it’s important and it’s so common, yet no one talks about it that much. Not for sympathy but maybe to help someone else not feel alone. Also, it will help me grieve.
Wednesday I went to the doctor for an ultrasound at 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant, to check on Baby Buller #2 before traveling. I can hear my doctor saying it, vividly as I was laying there anxiously awaiting to hear baby’s heartbeat again (like at my appt 3 weeks prior). My doctor said, “Kelly, I’m so sorry I’m afraid I have to deliver some sad news”. The baby’s heartbeat was gone and baby had stopped growing. She showed me the ultrasound machine- and the image is burned into my mind. I was in complete shock and felt scared and alone in that moment. I remember saying sorry and asking if I had maybe done something wrong? All the emotions flooded through me as I then was asked to schedule my D&C, which was yesterday.
Thankful for the support of my husband Brett, my family, and friends as yesterday sucked. Truly. I feel so grateful for amazing medical care and the experience at the hospital, but it was awful. I’m so sorry for anyone who has gone through this or who might go through it in the future. I’m here if you need to talk about it. As one of my wiser friends said, “You’re in a very large club that no one wants to be in”. You know miscarriages happen, but it doesn’t make it any easier and it’s surreal when it’s your own.
Time will heal. We will find out the gender of this baby in a couple weeks, and we’ll never forget this baby. Hold onto your loved ones a little tighter. I’m here if you want to talk, stranger from the internet or not, we’re all in this sisterhood together. Sending love, we all need it! 🙏🏻❤️”
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