Postpartum After Loss

Postpartum After Loss

“ Having experienced a miscarriage at 6 weeks in September of 2019 and then a late term stillbirth in September of 2020, I have been reflecting on all the invisible wounds I have navigated in my postpartum journeys after loss. While my body has, thankfully, healed well… there are still new emotional wounds that have caught me off guard and I am still navigating healing from.

The invisible wounds of postpartum after loss:
– it is the nurse with good intentions who says “congratulations!” when she checks you in at the front desk for your 6 week postpartum follow-up, not realizing you are a loss mom.

– it is the numerous emails updating you on your pregnancy week or sending you baby product advertisements and then having to deciding whether or not to unsubscribe to these emails.

– it is the friends who mean well, but don’t realize the pain they cause with comments like, “it wasn’t meant to be” or “at least it happened early”.

– it is the kind neighbor who excitedly asks “what did you have, boy or girl?!” without realizing how complicated of an answer that actually is.

– it is the fear surrounding the next ultrasound with the next pregnancy and the painful internal questions of “will there be a heartbeat this time?”.

– it is the friendly grocery store clerk who knew you were pregnant and now seeing you without your pregnant belly asking how the baby is doing.

– it is the slowly disappearing pregnant belly that you wish more than anything still held a baby.

– it is being pushed in a wheelchair, through the maternity floor, leaving the hospital without your baby in your arms.

– it is seeing the blissful naiveté you once held yourself about pregnancy reflected in pregnant friends who get pregnant seemingly easily and get to go home with their baby, and them not realizing that not everyone gets to do that.

– it is a quiet house and empty bassinet.

– it is starting the process of trying to get pregnant again while still grieving the losses of your angel babies.

The invisible wounds of postpartum are the ones that others do not see or not even realize they cause, and need just as much love and kindness to help heal.”

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