Motherhood Pregnancy

The “socially acceptable” number of kids

“The “socially acceptable” number of kids.

Here’s what’s not acceptable is the belief that it is okay to comment on somebody’s choice whether to have kids or the amount which they have or may want.

Personally this is how I’ve heard it go way too many times… 

1 child – it’s not enough “when will you have another? Are you having any more? They will be lonely…

2 Children – the perfect number especially if you have a boy and a girl because if you have 2 of the same sex – are you going to try for a girl? (or boy?)

3 Children – Also acceptable but you are done now, right? Unless you have all one gender then you simply NEED to have another.

4+ plus – Oh wow don’t you guys have a TV? Oh wow, that’s a big family! You guys aren’t going to have anymore now, right? Oh was it planned?

You need to keep your legs closed (all of these I’ve heard in my last 26weeks)

NO kids / I don’t want kids. – Well that’s a statement that most commonly prompts total disbelief! When are you going to have one? Oh but eventually right? You will regret it later in life! Why not?

It is not okay to comment on someone else’s personal choice 

Yet some people seem to think it’s appropriate to ask deeply personal questions or make these statements.

Just stop. Think before you speak.

Put kindly, it simply doesn’t affect you and often there is a huge range of reasons that are behind these decisions, some being incredibly personal, even distressing.

And if you receive these comments or statements YOU don’t need to provide a explanation whatsoever. NONE. 

You do you. 

Your life your choice.

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