MOVING TO FORMULA 🥛 >>> I stopped pumping altogether a month ago.

If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I was always exclusively pumping as BF never worked well for us.
I think mentally and emotionally the strain of being attached to a pump 5/6 times a day, getting up at 3am on top of Alfie’s night shifts on top of actually just being a 1st time mum (or mum at all!) just reached a point that I said no more, it’s too much.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty & sad at the time, actively trying to get my body to stop producing the very “food” it was easily making to grow & develop my baby boy. Not because formula is less-than (it’s a little life safer!), but because I felt this unsaid feeling of failing, giving up what my body was capable of doing – just because I found it hard. Was that selfish? I don’t feel that way now, but I did then. and of course he continues to grow and develop the exact same as he did before so those feelings aren’t even slightly founded.
I think we come across many tipping points in parenthood when you start to take into account your own mental and physical health & wellbeing, in a delicate but ever-impossible balance with that of your baby.

It has made life so much easier. The process of actually weaning off producing milk took about 4 weeks all in all. I gradually dropped pump by pump and tried to stretch my boobs for longer periods until finally, that last one went! No surprise which pump I chose to drop first 😂
And the body is INSANE. 3 days after no pumping, my cycle came back and now it feels like a new chapter in our life with Alfie, the exciting next step. I’m proud of the months I did, but my god is BF/pumping one of the HARDEST things I’ve done, so to anyone who’s done it for a single day, 2 weeks, or many months – well done you ❤️”
Instagram: @carlyneave

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